So...I haven't been blogging lately. And I'm afraid to blog about why I haven't been blogging, because most of what is torturing me lately is work related and I have no interest in being Dooced. Unless said Doocing comes with either widespread fame/fortune/adoration (like it did for her), or is accompanied by the kind of severance package that causes Congress to hold hearings on the injustice of executive compensation.
But neither of those scenarios seem likely. And another reason that I haven't been on the internets all that much is that I decided that instead of spending all of my free time blogging about what a terrible mother I am, I could, oh, I don't know, try being a better mother.
Novel idea, yes?
I've been trying to stop multitasking and really focus on being present with the Spawn. Not just physically THERE, but engaged. No checking emails while they're playing in the playroom. No sorting through mail and school papers while they're refusing to eat their Boston Market. No trying to put away laundry while they're getting ready for bed. Trying to take time to do things with them, even if it's just to play a board game or read a book together.
But today, I think my efforts to be Better Mom are setting me up for a rather spectacular flop. I told the The Girl that she could have her friend over for a sleepover, and she wanted to decorate cupcakes. So I did something that I never in my adult life thought I would do, given that my family often begs me to stay OUT of the kitchen, and especially since Stop & Shop does this type of thing so much better:
I baked.
I bought three boxes of cake mix and those little paper cupcake holder thingies, and some white frosting and food coloring to make different colors and some sprinkles for garnish. I borrowed some baking tins and from the bowels of my kitchen, excavated this strange-looking wedding-gift appliance that has these twirly things that mix stuff up. I emptied the boxes and cracked the eggs and figured out how to operate my oven, and now I have approximately 87 cupcakes cooling on the counter, waiting to be frosted.
Problem is, they look really weird. They're all different heights, and some are sunken instead of rounded, and some are covered in pimply looking nubs. I'm a little worried about that. Is it possible to kill a child with bad cupcakes? Death by Betty Crocker?
Friday, September 26, 2008
A Little Help Please...
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68 comments:
It sounds like maybe you opened your oven a little too often while they were baking. If the heat isn't regular, it'll cause uneven air bubbles, or even popped air bubbles.
But don't worry! They'll still taste good. You can mound frosting on the low side of the cupcakes so they'll look really round still. And they won't kill the kids. ;)
Hey~ we will take this journey together! I need to do all the things you said better with my kids too.
And baking, well, let's just say I'm no Martha Stewart. But I am getting better in my old age.
:o)
87 cupcakes?!? That's an enormous feat in and of itself! Who cares if they're not Martha Stewart perfect!
Cupcakes are all about the icing anyway =)
PS - Not to be a hater, but maybe you should lay off the bicep curls too? Martha has been to prison so she can probably kick your @ss anyway.
My cupcakes are always ugly as hell too. I've learned that nobody seems to notice or care when they are smothered in extra frosting. Yum!
Is that what that twirly thing is for?
How about this flat bottomed thing that has a handle on top with a dial and it also has a power cord? I say it's for cooking bacon right on your breakfast plate but Yes,Dear thinks it's a veggie steamer. Maybe it does both?
I don't think you will kill anyone. Be easier on yourself. I am sure they taste fine. Just slap some frosting on those bad boys and it will be great.
Children are immune to any cupcake-related illnesses until they are 16 years old. I read that in National Geographic. Something about the serotonin released by the brain during consumption offsetting the toxins in the cupcakes.
I applaud your efforts...that is not an easy thing to do in this day and age. I am also now very interested in hearing what is happening at work. If I can't gossip about people in my own office I might as well be doing it about someone else's. I can gossip with you without knowing your co-workers too, I just insert my own names and problems. "Where does Steve think I'm going to find the resources to complete several large scale initiatives by December? Has he even LOOKED at our payroll lately? Oh, and when did we decide to let SALES drive the Marketing and Product Development calendar!? Isn't their job to manage customer relations anyway? I didn't realize that meant simply saying "yes" to everything all the time. Tough gig...where do I sign up?"
How was that?
Long comment. Sorry. Crappy week.
MM I've missed you. Multi tasking vs being present hmmm Not just physically THERE, but engaged? No checking emails while they're playing in the playroom. (oops doing that right now) No sorting through mail and school papers while they're refusing to eat their Boston Market (haven't had dinner yet today, but did that yesterday) No trying to put away laundry while they're getting ready for bed (geesh when did you move in with me and start watching my parenting techniques). I guess this includes no reading blogs while they are watching Go Diego Go. I applaud the efforts. I'm working on the same things. Here's to you ~ keep on trying...I will too.
I don't know nothin' 'bout baking no cupcakes.
Can you ice over anything?
If you want to get really fancy, try making the frosting. Easiest thing in the world and about 1/10th the price. Tastes better too.
They're gonna have a blast.
So, when DO you put the laundry away, if not when they are getting ready for bed? That is when I do it too!
This whole "be a better mother" is just to make the rest of us look bad, right?
I gotta go with costco.
Well, with 87 cupcakes you can probably group them into similar-looking ones, throw out the smaller group, and voila! You're a perfect baker.
I've found my life is much happier since I stopped putting the laundry away.
I love Penny's comment. That's the solution. After all, you're only feeding 4. Throw the leftovers to your wretched squirrels
I have given up television. In order to work full time, blog, write, paint and do my punishment for owning a house (Yardwork, I had to give up SOMETHING and TV was the easiest thing to do.
And I don't miss it. Of course, my kids are all (mostly) grown and we haven't had a sleep over around here in 5 years (well, that isn't quite true but I'm not free to discuss the details) and we never did cupcakes anyway - I WAS going somewhere with this and I just lost my train of thought. I suppose I was going to say , Well done, you - but it's probably more appropriate to say "Nice try."
Think you could spare a few cupcakes? Princess turns 11 next Friday and she's having a few friends over. As long as the cupcakes taste good, they're not picky about how they look.
I hope that won't be the motto for their dating lives ...
I'm with Mimi--lots and lots of frosting fixes everything.
87 cupcakes?!?!?!? For one friend sleeping over? You realize you're going to have to let your kids eat approximately 13.7 cupcakes per day before they go stale. Oh, I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.
NGIP - yeah, I guess in retrospect, making three boxes of mix was a little overkill. I'm going to poison all of her friends at gymnastics tomorrow with the extras.
(Just kidding, my mom friends whose girls will be at gymnastics tomorrow! About the poisoning part! Because I am bringing extra cupcakes.)
They always turn out like that, don't they? It's never killed The Boy, so you should be fine. Nice to have you back by the way. It's a rough balance sometimes.
I've missed you, your kids and your Boston Market. Visit me soon!
Nope. They will be good but really wouldn't have one box been enough? I mean how many cupcakes do you really need?
Just add more frosting! I give you a lot of credit. I love to bake but haven't even thought of it since I have become a mother of two. Way to many possible complications!
I decided to be all domesticated today too. I bought a roll of cookie dough that you slice and bake. Move over Duncan Hines.
In this time of economic crisis, I must respectfully disagree with the other commenters - I say BRING ON the excess cupcakery! If you only make one box of cupcakes, the terrorists win! Extra cupcakes are for people on Main Street, not on Wall Street! (Okay, I am watching the debate whilst commenting. And perhaps have had too much caffeine. Missed your posts!)
You are so Martha...no, no...so June! And I would agree with those above that suggest that frosting covers ALL sins. It is really the only reason I can occasionally bake.
Only if you used milk products imported from China.
I can very much relate to trying to be a more present mom. This week I've been doing the same, actually, plus wife. A five hour "discussion" with hubby can inspire focus, doncha know.
Oh you don't need to apologize to 'us' ... life gets insane. But one day you'll come crawling back cause we're not gonna become bratty teenagers!
Ah, you haven't read Horace Splattly! The Cupcaked Crusader!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horace_Splattly
Be sure to read book one first since it sets the scene for the rest. They are crazy, fun!
Melissa R
Well for your first cupcake attempt, 87 is quite an impressive number. I agree with what others' have said, All sins can be covered if there is enough frosting!
I hear you about trying to be more engaged. Now that the 5yr old Punk Ass is in school I have a couple of days with just the 2 year old. Instead of taking her for long walks, I'm on the computer while she watches Backyardigans. *sigh*
Thanks for stopping by! Sorry for the loooong comment!
That's one way to lure a whole battalion of Boy Scouts to your home, girl ...
Let them frost and decorate them themselves. It's all about that. It will be the "best sleepover party, ever."
I try the engaging thing too... but then it wears off or something. After a week at work like last week, I just want to curl up and watch episodes of "House" on the DVR.
Love ya, MM.
Hey, when you do it, you do it up right!! Maybe they'll feel all entrepreneurial and have a bake sale when they're done decorating!
Thanks for stopping by Riding the Short Bus, btw! Nice to meet you!
Ahhhhhhhhh give up multitasking while raising children. There's a conundrum.
Enjoyed your post; I'll be back. And thanks for stopping by my blog.
yep- it's definitely a balancing act
: ) I'm sure you did fine luv. Way better than an "E" for effort. You get an "A." +. : )
You realize, of course, that you're now ready for the ritual baking and frosting of 203 sugar cookies, don't you (and by 'don't you,' I mean 'won't you?', because it always sounds like a great idea to do that with my kids, but after frosting 3 cookies each, they take off on me and I'm stuck with 197 damn cookies)
Very sorry to hear about the stress at work and it's best you not get into it. You're doing the right thing but I'm sure the details are juicy!
I think it's great your putting in the time with your kids and stuff. As for the cupcakes looking strange, it's all about how they taste. If they taste grate that's all that matters.
Blogging can certainly be a life-suck. Great to hear you're finding some balance.
It's perfect that the cupcakes came out looking a little weird, if they looked perfect everyone would start volunteering you to head up the bake sales.
you sound like my kind of baker. Since I almost NEVER bake, when I actually do, I try to make up for all the previous years of non-baking by baking a ridiculous amount of something that ends up turning hard before 1/4 of it can be consumed.
Betty Crocker is my BFF. When we did our kitchen reno I told the appliance guy I roasted way more than I baked so we didn't get the electric/gas combo. The irony of it is that since then we've baked more cupcakes than anything else, as my girl loves it. And those a pretty good mommy moments too.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Balance is tough, the blog etc. can become an important part of who you are, and that's especially important when you're a Mom. To not lose your sense of self, I mean.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend ;)
hehe "Death by Betty Crocker" you slay me!
Mad props for the effort but take it easy man, kids know when your trying too hard!
omg - I love your comment about being a better mother. That DOES IT. I am shutting this damn thing and going outside. i mean it. right now. after I have a cupcake.
OK, first and foremost-My sincere thanks for dropping by Bloggeritaville and my Photography web site (Photographic Memories)and leaving a comment.
Second-what a cute and comical blog you have here. I love it! I will be dropping in again on you.
And I think you are a great mom!
Sounds like undercooked cupcakes to me, next time you need to insert a toothpick in the center of one before removing them from the oven-- if it comes out completely clean they're done, if not leave baking and try again a couple minutes.
Or better yet, quality time with the kids can be shopping for premade cupcakes together.
I think I just went into a diabetic coma via virtual cupcake!
That is a SHIT ton of cupcakes!
Kids eat dirt and snot.
They will be fine.
Isn't that the beauty of homemade? You can always buy perfect cupcakes (and perfect pottery and perfect art).
Hats off to you!
I've done all those things and also have the mom guilt. Kids don't care what the cupcakes look like. They won't even remember. All they will remember is doing it with you. I think that it is great and may have to pick up some mix after work for the kids!
Cupcakes Shmupcakes.
The Icing is the Crown Jewel. Sweet, sweet sugar and Cream Cheese. As lonf as you have a Tub of Icing, everything else seems to fall into place.
Props on the Baking.
Funny, my whole goal in life is being Dooced.
I think with 87 cupcakes, you could just throw away any weird ones. But if they taste good, I doubt it matters.
Are you at a high elevation? Sometimes you have to add something if you are. I forget what, but something like flour. ;) We moved to Denver from LA last year and I burn just about everything.
I feel your cupcake pain. I made zucchini apple cake this weekend. It's a pile of crumbs on a plate. Good crumbs, but does not in any way resemble a cake.
Yup- been there. Weird cupcakes are my specialty! My tip is to just cover the crap out of it with icing and it totally hides it and evens it out. Granted, some of them might have parts with an inch or so of frosting but seriously, what kid will complain about too much frosting? You'll be their hero.
I love this- I'm going to try this (probably just for tonight, honestly)
And when you get a chance, take a picture of the mail, laundry and dishes pile or the bags under your eyes when you have to stay up late to do all that work once the kids are asleep! :)
If being a good baker makes you a better Mommy, then my kids are totally screwed.
Yo Mom - are you still heading to MD?
I popped on over and had a great laugh at your comments with the school pictures. It was the comments that made it. I needed that chuckle in the worst way.
Later babe,
A
Maybe they will die from shock?? You know.. the shock of seeing you in the kitchen actually producing something edible ;)
And now I know why I fail as a mother. I absolutely can't multi-task when the kids are around. Either I am doing my thing totally ignoring them or I am getting nothing else done because I am paying attention to them.
Blogging is so much more fun though!!
Hugs!!
:)
Boy do I hear you on the being a better Mother front. It's not an easy task. Plus, I'm addicted to blogging:P
I second (third, fourth...) the suggestion to just smother a crapton of icing on those bad boys. The kids won't notice anyway. I always burn the bottoms when I try and bake, but whatever.
It is not easy to be present with your children. Its easy to start feeling guilty because sometimes, well, what they want to do is boring. I
f you can pick up a copy of Mindful Parenting by Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn, it helps encourage you to be more in the present. I read little bits of it now and then when I need a reminder. They do a good job describing mindfulness without being all woo-woo and zen about it.
This comment is about your Donations post, but I didn't see a place to comment there--
when you said "it's making Spawn think that I either have a terminal disease or am getting sent to prison" I almost spit out my drink... you kill me.
I am going to check out that book, Stella. I like my advice sans the woo-woo.
When I actually used to cook, my rule is to eat all the deformed ones. You should have like 7 left.
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