Politics With The MomFather

Back when I first started this blog my dad said to me, "You realize that nobody's interested in reading your crap, right? Except for family members who want to see what kind of smack you're talking behind their backs?"

At the time, I told him that he was dead wrong. That's because I didn't think that my family would be interested in reading my crap either.

Well, now I actually have a few readers, and the same guy who once took an interest in my schoolwork by asking "Hey, kid, what grade are you in again?" has turned into a fame-starved hanger-on. How do I know? Lately, he's been sending emails that are suspiciously well-formatted into blog-friendly information chunklets. I suspect that he's seen how I've been exploiting The Girl, and now he's looking for his own virtual 15 minutes.

Fine. I was going to post about the horrifying dental appointments The Spawn had this morning, but (my) emotional wounds are still too fresh. It's 74 degrees and sunny outside, our office is on summer hours, and my iPod has been giving really good shuffle lately. I'm going to take his free content and go for a nice, long, 10-mile run with it. As an added bonus, I'm also hitting on eight of the traffic-driving tips from Seth Godin, who is apparently some sort of blogging genius that we're all supposed to suck up to. OH YES I JUST DID RULE 14 YOU, SETH GODIN! How do you like them frigging apples?

So without further ado, please enjoy the political rantings of a retired accountant who can't face the fact that he's really a Democrat. (I manned up and admitted what I really am, Pops...now it's your turn). You may not agree with his opinions, but anyone can enjoy his use of 60's era pot-smoking terminology.

"Global Warming – I’m sick of hearing about this subject. If the Liberal Democrats have to ease their feelings of guilt tell them to write letters to the governments of China, India, Pakistan, Mexico, and many smaller countries that pump out a lot more pollutants in a month than we do in a year.

Oil Shortage – Prices are going up and it’s about time. In your lifetime you will see shortages that will make $4 a gallon look like the good old days. Raise fuel taxes, build more nuclear plants and only allow Smart Cars to be on the road between 7AM - 10AM and 4PM – 7PM. Don’t allow mothers to shuttle their precious little tykes to and from school every day. They can walk or take a school bus. (This will also decrease the number of tubby tykes.)

Political Correctness – Recently, Hillary Clinton referred to Robert Kennedy’s run for the Democratic nomination extending into June. She had to apologize for this remark because he was shot in June. Why? Is it incorrect to refer to actual events? Today a person cannot talk about anyone or anything without being called insensitive, sexist, or racist. Let’s be able to call a jerk a jerk.

Legalize Marijuana - I’m tired of hearing that someone running for political office once puffed on a doobie. Anyone that grew up in the sixties or seventies probably tried it. Think of the additional tax revenue that would be raised if it were legalized. I’d rather be on the road with someone who smoked four joints than drank four beers with Jack Daniels chasers."

So that's it. Enjoy your weekend. And if you made it this far, please be promiscuous with your comment-leaving...it'll make the old coot happy.

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