You've probably noticed that the stuff I write usually tends to include some cursing, a fair amount of sarcasm, and often the ejection of bodily fluids. (Be forewarned - this post does not, and furthermore, it's laden with sentimental cliches. If you're looking for the usual, read this one instead). Because of all of the travel and work craziness I've had lately, my posts have definitely veered more toward the “manager” and less towards the “mom.”
When I got home late AGAIN the other night, The Boy shouted, “Thank you for stopping by, Mommy!” And it made me realize that when I go through these periods where the work goes out of whack and starts taking over my life, I feel like I have to create some emotional distance in my head, if I am going to survive all of the missed dinners and bedtime cell phone tuck-ins.
But that all evaporated when I dropped The Girl off at school the other day, her second-to-last day as a first grader.
We drove up to the building and I got out of the car to help her collect her things and so I could kiss her goodbye. I settled her backpack on her shoulders. It was heavy with keychains and notebooks and pencil cases and yarn for the friendship bracelets she likes to make, and the weight of it made her clothes go all cockeyed, pushing her pink cotton shorts low on one hip.
She received her kiss and skittered off on her flamingo legs. Before she went inside, she turned to wave at me, and in that moment I looked at her face and saw the baby that she once was and the woman that she will become, and it sort of took my breath away.
After that she turned and skipped into school without any inkling of how completely she had just laid waste to my emotions. And I thought to myself, I wouldn't trade a hundred rides on the corporate jet for this moment, standing here in the sunshine, next to the minivan. Watching my oldest child, who I will always hold as a little girl in my heart, off to start a day fraught with excitement and hope and happiness.
If that weren’t enough, this came home in her backpack. Her teachers had saved it from her FIRST day of school:
And it made me cry, for the first time in as long as I can remember.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
To My No Longer A First Grader
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63 comments:
OMG, that is so sweet!! You will treasure that forever!
Awww, I would cry too !!!!!
At the risk of sounding a nutter, is your daughter wearing a PP skirt. I am on the opposite side of the world to you and that would be amazing !!!
You captured the moment perfectly!
Dang it! You made ME eject bodily fluid. I'm teary at this!
When my boys are walking down the sidewalk toward the bus on school days, they stop every four or five steps, turn around, and wave at me, and it's like they're tugging my heart behind them with each wave.
The drawing is great. I hope you frame it!
Makes it all worth it, doesn't it?
Isn't funny how you catch those "looks"? It's sort of scary, sad, and wonderful all at the same time...
Great post. She looks so happy.
Awww!
Boys just don't give you quite as many of those moments.
Made me tear up to Momma...She is lovely
A) she looks adorable and that was such a sweet post.
B) I'm sitting hear crying.
C) You should post sappy stuff more often, it suits you. ;)
Savor this time. Time has a real creepy way of kicking the crap out of you - flying by so fast. Turn around, she's a first grader, turn around and it's prom. Stop and watch that every minute is not wasted.
ohhh, I'm all teary now.
Oh man you made me cry first thing in the morning! Her picture is adorable, the drawing tugged at my heart and now I have to get to work. GREAT!
Seriously, too sweet!
Wow. I love that they saved those pictures all year. Awesome and sad in a really great way, if that makes any sense. Those moments of clarity knock me on my ass every once in while too.
This is why you rock. You can be all "I am a Corporat Powerhouse, fear me," but still have your priorities on right. Family is the very best thing in the world, and it's so nice to have a reminder of that this morning.
Ugh. I just got done writing a post about my youngest turning 5 and how upset it made me feel. It seems to be the season, eh? My oldest just finished her first grade year, too. It's ... unbelievable. It hurts so much I try not to think about it.
Your post was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
It's so cliche, but it really does go by so fast. My oldest will be heading to college in two short months. I'm going to try to not be a basket case, at least until I hit the interstate.
For all your gangsta talk, I knew deep down you were a bigger pushover than me, sis. Parenting is the great equalizer of all us.
Awesome post but I'm pissed I can't see the image from what the teacher saved.
Grr..I'll come back to read it later.
Our..no longer a 2nd grader turned into a little man w/ manners in a bout a week and a half..Then we had a burping contest and all was well.
Sinfully adorable - both that picture of her in that little skirt and pink top and that LETTER. Screw that jet, this totally wins out. :)
It is amazing how your kids have that kind of power of you, that at the most random moment (one that might seem ordinary at any other time)they can give you just a quick look, and completely floor you.
Sometimes, I will be reading the bed-time story, and I will be doing the "voices" when all of a sudden, I'll look at my daughter or son, and for just a brief moment, I'll be at a complete loss for words.
Only another parent, can truly understand the wide range of emotions kids can give you. From love, to guilt, to joy, to sorrow-it's all a package deal.
Great post.
Next thing you know it will be her first date (oh, that's Dad's nightmare, sorry) and on to you being Grandma. (my those years just flew on by)
I'm jealous of you having that girl of yours.
You warned me and I kept on reading anyway and now my eye make up is mess!
But how sweet! Those flashes that we get -- of their older selves -- are so amazing. Those are the times that I think to myself "You know, I think I'm doing an okay job."
She could not be any cuter! She's gonna be taaaaaaaaaaall!
I love this post because I know exactly the feeling you are talking about. My daughter is the same age as yours and just the other day when I looked at her, I could see what she would probably look like as a teenager. It was almost like one of those age-altered missing children's photos (only not as disturbing)in my mind.
This was very touching. Reading blogs like yours and that of Black Hockey Jesus make me look forward to having children someday. Thank you.
I'm terrific about not being overly sentimental until I read stuff like this. *bawl*
My downfall was the 'journal' that came home with BoyChild from his year in first grade and all his thoughts during his time then.
SO SWEET. What great teachers to save something so wonderful!
Nothing like these moments. Nothing.
Loved that picture!
I have one of those too.. A No Longer First Grader. How can this be? How do make it stop?
Your words are perfect.
Gotta treasure those moments- sometimes they're what remind us of why we go be manager-parents, and that the important things are not found where-we-manage.
We still have the first drawings from all four kids, and love them dearly- and our oldest is 20, and a junior in college :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog, as well
I sometimes think the reason I was a stay-at-home mom is because I wanted ALL of those sorts of memories.
I'm so selfish about things like that.
Hell, I had my kids at home so no one would be taking them away from me to clean them up and evaluate them.
Yep. I'm possessive and selfish.
Which has worked out well for me.
Nice post. A strong reminder of what's important.
Awww. How very sweet. : )
Ya know, it's stuff like this that makes me wish I had children.
Then I snap out of it, and go on my horribly selfish and lose-consciousness-at-the-thought-of-child-birth way.
- Margaret
That kind of made me cry too.
Also how awesome is it that she drew her outfit so realistically? I mean, you can see the little plaid shirt and pink shirt. Those two pictures together are priceless.
Aw...that made me all verklempt. Which is Yiddish for teary eyed and lumpy throated.
There's something wrong with that blog verbosity test, it says my posts are an average of 70 words long. I think 7,000 might be closer to the truth. :P
I no longer have a 2nd grader and a 5th grader. I now have a 3rd grader and a 6th grader - yikes!
I have days when I tell myself that I can't wait until they can =fill in the blank=.
Today I can wait.
=Sniff=
Ahh geez. I cried. I'm such a sap. Don't tell anymore.
the picture was cute... my nephew left me a christmas wish list two years ago and i could only make out a couple of his requests. i had him read it to me and the whole time he was like "God, I can't believe you can't read this yourself". Keep updating your song list. Gotta check out the Doobies remix!!
Don't you love moments like this with children. They sure are a great distraction from the chaotic world that can consume us at times.
She is adorable and quite the artist for a first grader:)
despite the fact that your kid spells WAY better than mine, I hope you realize what this little missive meant: that girl, that second grade girl, she loves you Manager Mom no matter what.
You done good.
Awwwwwwww-wuh.
They love us. Even when we feel like we don't deserve it.
Oh man. Now you did it.
I was fine, just FINE until that picture and the last line.
Deb
sandiegomomma.com
Adorable!! You should hold on to that picture, and give it back to her for her 21st or 30th birthday. My mom did that for my 30th, gave me something from each year that she had kept. It was the greatest present ever.
Thta is darling.
Wonderful post. It goes by so fast. I'm trying to figure out a way to change my kid's birthday to Feb 29th, so I'll have her what 4x longer?
Thanks for commenting on my blog, I've tagged you to complete a meme. Comeback to http://chexmate.blogspot.com/ for the details.
Enjoy!
Chex
What a gorgeous girl. And momma. The crying just makes you all the more cooler . . .
Wow I"m glad I waited til I got home to read this one - nothing like sobbing at work. What an awesome photo and the most precious picture. Yeah, save it mommy. And savor it. Sigh...
That was so sweet! I like how she made sure to draw the camera in there!
The flashes of what they'll look like when they're older are always a little spooky, aren't they? Also, very hard to describe.
Just lovely.
That little hand on her hip melts my heart.
damn it made me a little tear too.
No corporate jet ride can replace this stuff. That is a wonderful picture.
That is awesome!
Brilliant post; as the mother of a just-turned-teenage girl, I can so relate. Found your blog through Buddha on the Road, and I will be back for regular reads! Love your stuff.
Featured on Good Mom/Bad mom on the Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/6lwlue
oh mah gott. Now you're making ME cry!!
Our BAAYYYY BEEESSS!!!
Well crap. You made me cry too. Ok, I admit that half of the reason I'm crying is because you're girl is a much better artist than I am.
So, so sweet - you need to frame that one. I just found your blog and bookmarked it - you're good! I'll be back. :) Jen
This is a heart-tugger. Thanks for sharing. Daughters are quite awesome.
Thank you for sharing those moments, they indeed flood and overtake emotions many of us have shared gratefully not only with our children but our children's children. You have added the glow to many of our prideful moments.
You really didn't give adequate warning that we would actually all be weeping after reading this. Thanks, now I have to go to bed all red-eyed and overly emotional.
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