I think my son exploded.
Those of you with older children, please tell me that there will come a day when I WON'T find this in the bathroom:
It's going to be hard to explain to future employers, roommates, and girlfriends why he STILL has to be completely naked before he can successfully execute a bowel movement.
Nothing below the fold today.
Sorry charlies, nothing to see here
Friday, July 11, 2008
Anatomy Of A 5 Year Old Boy's Crap-Taking
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74 comments:
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but boys never cease to be boys!!
If you ever start feeling teary about the idea that one day your children will grow up and move away, pull this picture out and study it.
Is this what I have to look forward to when my son is toilet trained?
I'd like to say this is why I'm a lesbian...but frankly, I've seen women the same way...just not with the Jimmy Neutrons.
O.M.G! That is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Did you read my post from last week about stripping down to the use the toilet? And I'm 31. Plus, we have the stack of books, magazines, and comic books on the counter.
Well, I'm a guy and I don't need to strip down.
My 3 year old daughter on the other hand? Same story as your boy.
what is with the shoes in the bathroom!!!! i fight this battle every single day. it drives me crazy.
my six year old still strips -- although it's not total. my ten year old has it.
they still leave toys in the bathroom, but it's getting better....
it gets better, it gets better....
LOL. Well I'm no expert, but I fear it WILL always be this way, except that when he hits puberty, Star Wars comic will be replaced with Hustler, Juggs, and Barely Legal. And yes, this will be difficult to explain to employers.
He must have taken his ipod with him, I guess? Where did he put it with no pockets? Uh oh.
Some of it changes, over time. Some of those items will be replaced by beer bottles, girlie mags and larger tightie whities.
Blissfully, my only complaint about the bathroom is that my husband does not know how to pick up the bathmat and hang it over the edge of the tub.
Kids enter bathroom, do their thing and exit. All clothes that go in on their bodies go out on their bodies and they have no interest in bringing anything into the bathroom. Woohoo!
The last problem we had was Kylie needing half a roll of toilet paper to clean herself. Thankfully only one discussion was needed to correct that misconception.
My daughter used to do this - I blamed it on middle child syndrome. She's still in there for 30 mins. at a time and it drives my other kids nuts.....
The stripping may stop, but the mess? Good lord...the mess...some days, it's an unspeakable horror. I'm talking a crime scene that no one stumbles upon for two weeks so the body's bloated and on the verge of explosion unspeakable...
My step son is almost 9..he no longer strips but he insists on company. He talks and poops, the very opposite of his father. I don't think there is a commen factor in male bathroom etiquette. He quit stripping when he peed when we were at a public restroom at Six Flags and older boys laughed at him. He was 5.
Haha! My little boy is exactly the same way to a tee...Star Wars and all. Hilarious!
OMG that is just hilarious! Love it...my kids are too young to have an answer for you....love it.
If it makes you feel any better, I have a 36-year-old buddy who still has to take off his shirt to go. Must be more common than I thought.
God I hope that stuff goes away. that's pretty much what our bathroom looks like too.
I am so scared to have a son. I just don't understand boys!
That made me snort at my desk. Aren't you just glad he uses the toilet? :)
No kids here, but oh, this post was hilarious!
You're letting your boy wear tighty-whities!?! For shame.
BoyChild - Likes to stand naked with hands on hips like master of the bathroom. "Hold yer weenie BOY!"
GirlChild - Experimenting with sitting backwards on the toilet seat.
I make them clean now. Can't take the urine any more.
Well, the Stars Wars Comic will simply be replaced by back issues of Surfer... but they do stop completely nuding up...
I'm concerned about the other shoe. WHERE IS IT? He didn't FLUSH it, did he?!? :)
One of mine also must get naked for pooping time and both boys are incapable of peeing inside the hosue from Spring through to Fall.
Did you ever see the Seinfeld where George goes to the bathroom at a party and comes out shirtless. You may be dealing with a real life Castanza.
I have a 5 yo boy, but he spends as little time as possible in the bathroom. I might find some tighty whitey's in there, but there's no way he would ever read on the toilet. Something about being sucked down with the flush (which also explains why he never flushes). His father? Totally different story. He could set up camp with the stuff he leaves behind.
Get out of my house! I also have a 5 yr old boy child and my bathroom(s) look like this every. single. damn. day. My extreme sympathies.
Thanks for the laugh. I, too, find that daily. At this point, I consider myself lucky my son knows which items belong in the toilet and which ones don't. I'd much rather find the tighty whities on the floor...
I don't know, my eight year old never does this buy my 33 year old (husband) does.
Just as long as he doesn't continue this behavior once he has a wife. She will be appreciative.
I'm not sure what it is with the taking off of pants when pooping, but it happens here sometimes, too.
Hilarious ... that's my oldest! And he's almost 11. I, too, hope this ends soon. LOL
LOL - this picture matches your Open Office Postapalooza pic. Do you leave this much stuff, too?
PS: Where is The Boy;s other shoe?
I love that he has to take off all his clothes to poop. HA!
Okay: this is HYSTERICAL!
My five year old wants a parent to stand outside the door and monitor his every grunt (But NO LOOKING) and then, wipe his butt, still with that magical NO LOOKING thing going.
My middle kid will just walk into a bathroom FULL of people, sit down and poop, while talking on the phone! No modesty.
Ok wow. How weird that you found my poopy freedom post....that is one heck of a picture! We never really had all that disarray going on. My son needs to concentrate when he "goes". All attention is directed to what he is doing. My husband on the other hand....we have a magazine holder in the bathroom, and he can be gone for quite some time......
So you are telling me that it won't get any better. My 3 year old does something like this and leaves a trail of clothes to the bathroom and kinds of randmon crap around. I was hoping it would get better, not so much, huh?
Make that more gender-specific and it's my bathroom.
Let's see, instead of Jimmy Neutron, we've got Disco Barbie underwear, instead of Star Wars, it's La Bamba Barbie, and instead of the soccer jersey, it's a Ballet Barbie tutu.
The socks, shows and errant toilet paper can stay.
4 year old son: naked yet still misses.
7 year old daughter: can not master the pull-the-bathing-suit-to-the-side trick and must disrobe wet suit every time. which she can not do alone.
8 year old daughter: wears clothing while in the loo, but does not seem to understand FLUSHING.
and I couldn't wait to be done with diapers why?
...at least he's pooping in the pot? Gotta be a bright spot in there somewhere, right?
Thanks for visiting my blog. Oh, and sorry to say, my son does the same thing. What is it? He was real concerned when he started Kindergarten, and we had to prep him on not taking off his clothing to poop. Kids.
Enjoy your trip. I hope to see some good pics from yours as I will also get some good ones.
Thank goodness I no longer care how or what is happening with anyone in the bathroom besides myself.
Thats so funny! My boys like to talk and sing to themselves when they take a 'dump' It's really cute and quite funny:)
Thanks for visiting my blog and please come back anytime!
You forgot to point out all the pee splatters on the walls and floor. Oh God. Please don't tell me it is only my boys who do that. Why, why, why can't they point that thing into the toilet?? Why???
Wow, it looks like your son leaves behind a lot of crap after taking a crap. Although, I think the comic book is essential. Where's the iPod?
I have a five year old boy too.
You left one thing out of the pic--urine about the floor and toilet seat! At least that's how it goes with mine!
I have 3 older boys too and, sorry, but it doesn't get much better with time. Possibly even worse!
Yes, why is it that males have to get completely naked to poop? Even my hubby does, that's apparently where my boys learned it from.
Haven't seen it change that much with the grown-up men. My son's 9 in about a week, and if I took a picture of his bathroom right now, the only difference would be choice of reading material and plain-colored boxer briefs. 'Cause he's too old for the Jimmy Neutron shorts now.
just wanted to say this is first blog today that made me laugh out loud
As Zeze would say, "gotta get comfortable." Not sure how comfortable pooping is all around, but hey - whatever helps.
Have a drink. And then another. They don't grow out of it.
My son is now 28, and his whole house looks like that bathroom. Sorry.
Oh, that is hilarious!
And brilliant! I never thought of using a foot stool!
thank the LORD Im not alone in this.
mine is younger, sure, but when we're out and she disrobes etc this mama wants to cry sometimes.
yeah.
I said it ;)
Miz.
You know, I don't get it. Somehow,when we're out in public, my son can retain his pants and Thomas undies when making "big stinky poo-poo's in the potty" (his words, not mine--although I will say, they're pretty apropos. I don't know what that kid is eating, but he obviously needs to cut back).
And yet, at home, everything must come off. Sure, it's great to relax and all, but really....
I think the only thing you'll lose there is the footrest.
Mine (14) tends to leave a trail of stuff when he showers. Drops shirt in the hall, pants here, undies there, etc... I've given up on that battle--let his future wife handle it!
I don't know, I have no children but have dated adult boys who still do this.
Good luck- My 12 year old son's bathroom looks just like that! I like your blog too! I'm gonna add it to my Google reader!
*laugh* the perfect ILLUSTRATION OF THE nature of a BOY!!!
OMGoodness! That is hysterical! This is one hell of an admission, but my brother and I used to do the same thing as kids. Makes you wonder what goes on in a child's mind... For the life of me, I can't remember.
I have heard of many boys that completely undress to poop. The problem is that I have also heard of men doing the same thing. He may NEVER grow out of it...sorry:(
Look on the bright side, at least he is not crapping in his clothes.
That is crazy. I seriously thought I was the only mom in the world whose 6 year old son had to be completely naked to poop.
LOL! He's a big Arsenal fan is he? Did not think there were much of them here in the states. I knew of one however when I worked at ESPN. Better than Manchester United I suppose. That's a bandwagon team.
My 6 year old son begs and pleads with my husband for permission to use our toilet and then he spends 30 minutes in there taking a dump and always....ALWAYS......floods or plugs up the crapper.
I read a blog where the author has a 24 year old son that STILL disrobes entirely before pooping. Yeah. He's married, works, goes to college and is an Eagle Scout so you know your kid can at least grow up to be functional.
Maybe your son can replace that Naked Cowboy guy and become the Naked Crapper. Quick! Teach him some guitar chords!
Oh crap. I have an eleven year old. Yes, it gets better
S L O W L Y. We're working on the flushing of the toilet. Still.
what's so wrong with being naked when you're one with nature? i'm just saying...
Sounds like my 29 year old bathroom, just replace the comic book with a history book, replace the soccer stuff with running stuff, replace the Jimmy Neutron undies with boxer briefs. HA!
This is great! Shows me what we are in for with our 1-year old boy ... our 3-year old girl just requires a step stool and a closed door.
teehee
I'll 'see' most of that and I'll 'raise' you three more magazines ("I might wanna change.") AND a whole mess of various animals and cars in the sink. Good Lord. We almost need a bigger bathroom!!!
no, you find that and worse.
peace
#2
OMG, this looks exactly like our bathroom with both kids, white stepstool posing as foot rest/coffee table and all.
8 year old boy: pokemon cards, video game cheat code book, lego star wars people accompany the scene
5 year old girl: polly pocket people, fancy nancy books, junk jewelery galore, dora pink cell phone all over the floor
you are not alone~
This is brilliant!!!
My brother (19) and my husband (28) both still get naked to take a crap.
I'm sorry to say that I don't see much hope!
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